


The Sound of Fear is the Sound of Love

by kiyooomii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: :3, Aged-Up Character(s), Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, But only a little, Cute Ending, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hinata is a Gay Disaster, How Do I Tag, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Hurt/Comfort, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Pro Volleyball Player Sakusa Kiyoomi, Thunderstorms, Well it is now, can comfort be considered fluff, hurting him is becoming my brand oops, kenhina ahehe, oh and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23577997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyooomii/pseuds/kiyooomii
Summary: Hinata Shoyo considered himself to be fearless since there was hardly anything that ever truly invoked true fear in him. Going against players that towered over him and spending two years in a foreign country was nothing! Even when angering his old teammate Kageyama Tobio, Hinata just didn't get scared easily. Though, as much as he hated to admit it, he was definitely terrified of one thing.orHinata is hiding his deep fear of thunderstorms from the people around him and is dealing with the consequences.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 518





	The Sound of Fear is the Sound of Love

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey ceo of sakuhina here! today i gift you with this tmmr who knows? so enjoy~
> 
> trigger warning: anxiety attacks

Hinata Shoyo considered himself to be fearless since there was hardly anything that ever truly invoked true fear in him. Going against players that towered over him and spending two years in a foreign country was nothing! Even when angering his old teammate Kageyama Tobio, Hinata just didn't get scared easily. Though, as much as he hated to admit it, he was definitely terrified of one thing.

Hinata flinched under his covers at the sound of thunder loudly roaring outside. He hated how scared he was of storms. Curled up underneath his covers, Hinata hugged one of his pillows tightly as he tried to steady his shaky breathing. Suddenly, loud knocking broke him from his trance.

"Hinata, it's not like you to sleep in, get up!" Bokuto yelled from outside Hinata's door. Being addressed so suddenly sent a wave of panic down Hinata's spine. He quickly ran a hand over his face to erase any evidence of the tears that stained his cheeks. "I'll be ready soon! My alarm didn't go off this morning." he called out, hoping that Bokuto would mistake the shakiness in his voice for drowsiness.

"Alright then! You should hurry though, we might be late soon." The sound of footsteps walking away from the door slowly faded until Hinata could no longer hear anything. He had been lying through his teeth about his alarm not going off. The storm woke him up half an hour before his alarm went off and he simply stayed in bed, paralyzed with too much anxiety to move. If he was lucky, the storm would be over before practice finished. Hinata paused for a moment, tearfully listening for more thunder outside. 

Luckily, all was silent save for the harsh pitter-patter of raindrops of falling on the window and the distant chattering of voices down the hall. Instead of taking the time to thank the god that had blessed him with peace, Hinata carefully got out of bed, his hurried footsteps matching the rough rain. He reached out for the doorknob but loud booming thunder, louder than anything he had heard since the storm started, shook the house.

In his surprise, a yell of terror escaped him as he fell to the floor in panic. Hinata sat there, shakily gripping his shirt as hot tears rolled down his face. The thunder slowly died down, its raging roar calming down to a mere growl. With arms crossed over his chest and his head hung low, Hinata recalled words Kenma had mentioned to him a long time ago.

»»————- ✼ ————-««

Peacefully laying on his futon in one of Nekoma High School's classrooms, Hinata knew he should have been sleeping. Summer had treated him and his teammates from Karasuno well. They had all been practicing diligently for their upcoming tournaments and the training camp Nekoma invited them to would only improve them further. It was already Friday and, though their week long camp was nearly over, Hinata simply couldn't quell his excitement. His teammates slept peacefully next to him and though their soft snores should have lulled him into sleep, he was still awake. Ensuring he was quiet, Hinata carefully snuck out of the classroom and into the hall. Perhaps if he used the bathroom and walked around then he would feel better.

Well, if he could remember where the bathroom was.

As he wandered the empty halls, he couldn't help but feel unsettled from the harsh sound of the storm outside. The wind shrieked with unbridled fury as if it was having a battle with the rain. Feeling uncomfortable, Hinata turned around, ready to find his way back to the classroom. Suddenly, the familiar roar of thunder assaulted his ears. Hinata shrieked in terror as the hallway lit up from the lightning that flashed outside. 

He could do nothing but curl up with his back to the wall. It was a pitiful sight but he could only cling to himself as thunder and lightning crashed above him. The only hope Hinata had was that no one would be up at this hour. How could he possibly explain himself? What excuse could he come up with that would be believable? He needed to move, at the very least he needed to hide somewhere. Maybe a bathroom stall or an empty classroom could work.

But no matter how much he wanted to move his body wouldn't listen.

The longer he sat against the wall, the more his lungs constricted in on themselves. Every tear that rolled down his cheeks was accompanied by a pained gasp for air that wouldn't enter his lungs. Hinata hated this, he wished that he wasn't dragged down by such a pathetic weakness. What would everyone say if they could see him now?

(𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘐𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦. 𝘕𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮?)

"Shoyo?" a soft voice called out to him amidst the unrelenting noise from the storm. Hinata completely froze, too scared to focus on who the voice belonged too. Surely they were on one of the teams here and they'd simply go back to their teammates to gossip about pathetic, little Hinata Shoyo. This was his worst nightmare, his secret was out and now he would be mercilessly teased and-

"Shoyo, it's just me." Small hands gently touched Hinata's shoulders. The sensation was grounding but Hinata's panic increased tenfold when he looked up. Crouched in front of him was his friend Kozume Kenma, more worry in his eyes than Hinata had ever seen before. Hinata buried his head in his arms once more, shame burning his cheeks. Why did it have to be Kenma? The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the impression that his wonderful friend had of him. 

"It's too hard for us to head into the bathroom, right? That's okay, you don't have to answer."

Kenma's gentle voice was soothing enough to make Hinata feel somewhat safe. His upperclassmen rubbed his shoulder's gently before leaning closer to Hinata. "I'll do my best to help you feel better. I just need you to try too, can you do that for me?"

A large part of Hinata wanted to push Kenma away, to scream at him and tell him to avert his eyes from the pitiful sight that Hinata had become. But something about the tender tone in Kenma's voice convinced him to cooperate. He nodded slightly and looked back up at Kenma. "Good. First, I need you to find five things you can see. It can be anything, just make sure you can focus on them." Hearing such an outlandish request made Hinata want to doubt his friend but he quickly pushed that thought away. Kenma was smart, he wouldn't do something that wouldn't help Hinata right now.

(𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘮𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱. 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦.)

Looking around carefully, Hinata attempted to examine the area around him. "You have a bunny on your shirt." he mumbled quietly, but Kenma only smiled.

"Four more things."

Hinata looked down, wincing slightly as lightning flashed behind Kenma. "There's lightning..." he trailed off, not wanting to think of what else accompanied it. His friend raised a hand from Hinata's shoulder to gently rub his cheek. (And if the action made Hinata blush slighty, Kenma didn't comment on it.)

"Three more." Kenma said simply.

Finally getting into the flow of things, Hinata felt as if the world was slowly becoming a bit clearer. "You're roots are growing out." Hinata looked away from Kenma towards a tile further down the hall. "That tile has a weird stain on it." Kenma moved, sitting down next to Hinata. He placed an arm around his trembling underclassman and used his free hand to intertwine his fingers with Hinata's.

"One more, Shoyo." he whispered softly.

Looking down at their intertwined hands made Hinata want to smile. "Your thumb is painted black."

(𝘒𝘰𝘻𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘮𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢'𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘤𝘩. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘰𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘮.)

"You're doing well."

Though a storm raged on outside, Kenma made Hinata feel as if they were in their own bubble hidden from the outside world. Kenma slowly helped Hinata calm down his overwhelmed senses and when he was thinking rationally once more, the storm finally calmed down to a pleasant drizzle. His upperclassmen was kind enough to walk Hinata back to the classroom he was sleeping in, their hands interlocked the whole way there.

"You should try what I told you to do if that helps in the future." Kenma absentmindedly commented as they stood in front of the classroom for Karasuno. Unsure of how to respond, Hinata only nodded.

"In case you forget, I'll do this." He suddenly pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped the screen for a few moments. "I sent you a text with what you should do. Goodnight, Shoyo." With that Kenma turned around, taking his hand with him and leaving behind a slightly confused Hinata.

"He didn't ask a single question..." mumbled the bewildered second year.

»»————- ✼ ————-««

(Hinata pushed the though of what happened next from his mind. He didn't need to remember how pathetic he acted when he begged Kenma not to leave him alone. And he 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 didn't need to think about how they fell asleep cuddled together that night. He wouldn't be getting physical comfort from anyone anytime soon. None of those memories helped him, he needed to 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴.)

Still paralyzed on the floor, even after his trip down memory lane, Hinata tried to focus on his surroundings. Once again, he needed to rely on someone else's help to calm down. It was pathetic, he hated constantly coming back to this point. Relying on the help of your teammates on the court was one thing, but for matters such as this Hinata wanted to rely on himself. By the time he managed to shower and get ready, he was thirty minutes late to practice. It took him an extra 20 minutes to get to practice just because he had to take a cab since this weather was unfit for riding his bike. Joining practice this late was completely unlike him and his teammates only let him on the court once they were sure he wasn't sick.

(The last time Hinata actually overslept it was because he unknowingly had a fever that he ignored the symptoms of. He was forced to go back home halfway through practice when Atsumu noticed his abnormal temperature after they high fived.)

"Come on, guys, I really did just oversleep!" Hinata insisted frustratedly. He knew he had pushed himself before but was it so unbelievable that he could oversleep too?

"I didn't know your body was even capable of oversleeping, Sho-kun." Atsumu offhandedly commented. He patted Hinata on the shoulder before walking away from the entrance and back towards the court.

"Don't be like that! Hinata's not weird or anything, he's just really dedicated to volleyball." While it was nice of Bokuto to defend him, Hinata just wanted to go get changed. Luckily, Bokuto and Atsumu casually bickered as they walked towards the net. For once, Hinata was grateful that Sakusa didn't comment on their conversation but he couldn't help but feel unsettled as he felt Sakusa's piercing gaze on him as he walked away.

»»————- ✼ ————-««

Practice had turned out to be just what Hinata needed to distract himself. Once he stepped on the court, he had practically forgotten all about his anxiety. Perhaps it was due to the way the gym was built but Hinata could hardly hear any thunder nor did he spot any lighting through the gym's windows.

(Hinata had foolishly willed himself into a false sense of security.)

After a few hours of sweating profusely, Hinata helped put equipment away before he went to the showers. It was on his walk there, that he heard the unmistakable rumble of thunder somewhere in the distance. He froze, unsure of how he should react to the noise. "Hinata?" Sakusa suddenly called out to him helping him out of his shocked stupor. Hinata realized that he suddenly froze in front of Sakusa.

"S-sorry! I'm just spacing out today." he spoke hurriedly before scurrying away from his teammate. Hinata didn't get a good look at Sakusa's face but he was sure the other man was confused. Deciding to act as if nothing happened, Hinata quickly jumped in an empty shower stall. Usually, the area would be bustling with noise from Bokuto's obnoxious singing and Atsumu's heated complaints which meant it was hardly ever quiet in here.

("Why do you always feel the need to sing so damn loud?" "You cant possibly expect me to shower without some music!" "Bokkun, that's exactly what I'm expecting." "Well, I can't really do that. Maybe try some ear plugs?" "....You do know we're in a shower stall, right? With 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳?")

Today, however, was a very special case where his noisy friends weren't actually here. They had quickly showered and rushed out of the gym, Bokuto yelling something about 'limited time only onigiri.' It was off putting being so alone in the overly large bathroom. Though maybe his nerves were heightened since he was alone with Sakusa.

'𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥! 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘰𝘶𝘴?' Hinata quickly shook his head, his wet hair sending water everywhere. Turning off the water, Hinata wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping out of the shower. He walked straight past Sakusa who happened to be rubbing some sort of cream on his face. The sight of the taller man's bare back set Hinata's cheeks aflame, he couldn't help but stare. Water droplets traveled between Sakusa's shoulder blades and fell down his spine down to his- 𝘕𝘰! 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱! 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘱!

"What?" said the very man Hinata had been drooling over. If it was possible Hinata's red cheeks only burned harder and he could feel the tips of his ears warming. "N-nothing! I'm sorry!" he managed to stutter out before running to the locker room. What was wrong with him today? He really needed to get it together!

Hinata dressed quickly, not wanting to embarrass himself further in front of Sakusa. It was when he was gracelessly shoving his sweaty clothes in his bag that he heard the sound of thunder echo loudly outside. The building was quiet, noise from running water and balls bouncing on the floor no longer capable of muffling the thunder. Ignoring the slight shake in his hands, Hinata zipped up his bag and tried to close his locker. More thunder clapped in the sky, louder this time. He could feel his throat start to close up as his heart beat uncomfortably in his chest. All he had to do was lock his locker, it wasn't difficult or complex. But the shakiness in his hands only increased as the storm grew louder, its rumbling now consistent.

His sweaty palms only made the lock slip through his fingers. Hinata felt dread pooling in his stomach, ready to overflow any minute when suddenly a hand rested on his shoulder. He flinched harshly at the contact, ready to run or cover his face. "Hinata, breathe." Sakusa's smooth voice filled Hinata's ears, grounding him slightly before he could get too caught up in his own panic. He lowered his hands from the lock and looked toward the floor, gripping the edge of his hoodie tightly instead. 

"I'm sorry, it's okay. I'm okay, I promise. Honestly, my hands are just a little shaky it's fine!" He rambled on anxiously, desperately trying to find a way out of this situation. Hinata had tried so, so hard to avoid anyone seeing him like this, he really didn't want to be teased. He was a grown man, for god's sake!

Sakusa gently turned Hinata so that he was facing him. "It's just us here, Hinata. You can calm down and no one else has to know about this."

Was it really that obvious? "You're worried about the others seeing you like this, right?" Sakusa continued on clearly unfazed, not noticing the tears staring to build in Hinata's eyes.

"Just focus on calming down. I can drive us home when you're okay." When Sakusa stopped talking, thunder crashed once more and Hinata clung to Sakusa's chest in panic. The taller man froze, not expecting such close contact between them.

He could feel Hinata's tears slowly soaking his shirt as the shorter man mumbled a string of apologies in between his rushed gasps. Sakusa placed a hand on top of Hinata's head and wrapped an arm around his waist. "You don't need to apologize. Just breathe, Hinata."

It was odd to receive affection like this. While Hinata may have been friendly with his teammates, none of them had ever been in such an intimate position with him. The physical affection was refreshing even if it was from someone as unexpected as Sakusa. It was sweet of his friend to hold him until he calmed down, especially since it took a while. The scent of his cologne and the feeling of his hands gently playing with Hinata's hair helped relax him quickly. When Hinata finally felt like he could breathe again, he pulled away from Sakusa. 

"Are you okay now?"

Hinata only nodded as he tried to ignore the blush rising up his neck. Sakusa pulled his mask up and removed his hand from Hinata's cheek. (To think he let Hinata be so close to him without his mask covering his nose!) He didn't know what overtook him in the moment, but Hinata grabbed Sakusa's hand before he could put it in his pocket. His friend turned to look at him but before Hinata could defend himself, Sakusa intertwined their fingers together.

He used his free hand to reach around Hinata and lock his locker. Sakusa did everything with such elegance that it left Hinata flustered, he quickly grabbed his gym bag and they left the building. The warmth of Sakusa's hand keeping Hinata calm for the ride home even though the storm continued on.

(And if he slept cuddled into Sakusa's side that night, the rest of the Black Jackals didn't need to know.)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! leave a comment telling me what you think or if you noticed a typo! all feedback is appreciated (≡^∇^≡)!!!


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